


what you been missing

by gloss



Category: Captain America, Young Allies
Genre: F/F, Gen, Queer Gen, baby lesbians, winter soldier as agony aunt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-02-14
Updated: 2011-02-14
Packaged: 2017-10-28 16:48:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/309957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gloss/pseuds/gloss
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Robo-arm or not, Bucky is not exactly equipped to give Anya romantic advice.</p>
            </blockquote>





	what you been missing

**Author's Note:**

> For Serena and [Marvels Lady Liberators Femslash Week](http://marvelsladyliberators.tumblr.com/post/3286665764/femslash-week-is-happening-right-now) on Tumblr. Title from Jackson 5, Mama's Pearl.

The first time Anya thought about kissing Rikki, she didn't even know her name yet. They were running pell-mell through a warren of MTA tunnels, their footfalls impossible to hear over the roar and rumble of the trains overhead. Rikki rounded a sudden corner and the emergency light caught her profile -- bleached out to copy-paper white, her goggles bugging out, and her mouth a slash of shadow, deeper than any tunnel. Anya's breath seized in her throat, she stumbled on a stupid pebble, and Rikki caught her flailing arm and pulled her up still.

Her breath smelled like spearmint gum and there was a sheen of sweat over her cheek. Anya was so close she could see the light fuzz of hair.

The next time, it was when she learned Rikki's name. That was all it took; Anya hugged her and bounced a little and after a moment Rikki bounced, too. _I could kiss her_ , Anya thought and, then, just as quickly, _and totally get away with it._

The third time Anya thought about kissing Rikki, they were hiding in the stairwell of an office tower in midtown. A security guard patrolled two flights down while they flattened themselves against the wall and held their breath. Anya was two steps above Rikki and she looked down at her, at the part in her hair, the curve of her skull and the fall of her hair. It looked almost as dark as Anya's own and she shivered, imagining how it would slide through her fingers.

The fourth time -- honestly, after that, Anya lost track, because she went ahead and kissed Rikki, and their noses bumped and smashed, their teeth caught soft lower lips, their chins smacked, and nothing had ever hurt, nor felt so good, in her whole entire life.

But this time? This has to be the most awkward time to think about kissing Rikki Barnes ever. In the history of girlfriends and costumed adventurers and superhero team-ups. In the history of all the universes.

Because this time, she's sharing a plate of cheesy fries at a diner on Flatbush Avenue with Captain freaking America.

"Not you! I meant the real one," she'd said when he showed up. Even though she clapped her hand over her mouth, it was too late.

His mouth twisted as he shrugged, then stepped aside to hold the door open for her. Old-fashioned courtesy, and for a second, she didn't know what to do.

When she'd tried to arrange this meeting, first through Carol and then via Spider-Man, she'd been really clear. At least she thought she had been: "I need to talk about Nomad." That was about as clear as a person could be, right?

But instead here's the other Cap, the weird squinty one. He handed her one of those big paper shopping bags, heavy, and said, "For Nomad. Barnes."

She peered into the bag. There was at least a couple hundred bucks' worth of clothes in there.

"From my, uh." He shook the hair out of his eyes. "My ladyfriend."

"Really?" Anya drew out a nice green scarf and matching gloves. They would go really nicely with Rikki's red hair, and they weren't too fancy or girly. Just right. Underneath them, there was a six-pack of Hanes cotton panties. She waved it in his direction. "You sure you didn't go shopping yourself?"

He peered at her. Like she was suddenly talking Russian or Korean or something.

"Kidding," Anya said and put them back in the bag. They were standing in the entrance like a couple of weirdos. She looked around the diner and plastered a smile on her face. "I guess -- you want to eat?"

He lifted one shoulder and narrowed his eyes. She took that as a yes.

He didn't talk much. He talked even less than Rikki, which was kind of an accomplishment. But Anya talked *a lot*, all the time, so maybe it evened out. After they ordered, as the fries came and gradually disappeared off the plate, she talked. She didn't know how to say what was bothering her, so she just talked and prayed it would all come out in the end.

And then, after bogarting a good 80% of the fries, all the while hunching like he's in a private wind gale, he goes and says, "You really care about her, huh?"

Anya almost chokes on her egg cream at that.

Now she's thinking about kissing Rikki again, and her throat hurts and the skin on her face feels weird, distant and hot, and she doesn't know what to do with her hands.

Rikki hasn't talked to her for a week, not since Anya found out just where she was "living". More like squatting.

And Anya misses her like -- almost like missing her mom, except worse, because she doesn't know anything, doesn't know what's going to happen. Horrible as it is, she knows she's never going to see her mom again. Compared to the crap with Rikki, that's almost a comfort.

"It's okay," he says gruffly, then looks away. Actually twists in his seat until he's leaning against the window, looking out into the diner aisle. He rests his head back and rubs his chin. The stubble scritch-scritches. "Like Toro."

The headlights from passing traffic make his face go in and out of focus, gaunt in the cheeks, sharp everywhere.

"No, Toro's just our friend --" she says.

He glances at her, quick like a knife. "My Toro."

"Oh." She twists her napkin in her hands. When she looks back up, he's twisted around again and he's looking at her straight-on. He's got nice eyes, actually, deep and clear. " _Oh_."

He nods. Just once, precisely. _**My** Toro._

" _Your_ Toro, I get it now, okay, wow. That's so cool! So you're bi, I guess? Awesome." Anya says, because she can never stop talking. Especially not when she really needs to. "Did you guys ever fight?"

He almost smiles. "All the damn time."

"Because she's really mad at me now and I didn't mean anything, I just wanted to help --" She explains, all over again, and he listens. He might not be the real Cap, but he listens like you'd imagine Captain America would, head tilted, gentle eyes, the whole schtick.

"...so I guess I just need to give her time, maybe, a little space?" Anya finishes, trailing off, not sure how to conclude. The thought of not seeing Rikki for even longer makes her want to throw something.

"Sure," he says, but looks like he's sucking on a lemon. "That what you want?"

"No," she admits, and slumps down. The last of the fries are limp, shiny with congealed gravy and cheese. They'll probably taste totally gross, so she tries one. Disgusting.

"Then do something else," he says. When she doesn't reply, he shifts in his seat and rubs the back of his neck. Eventually, he adds, "Look, I'm not sure why you needed me --"

She doesn't look up. "I didn't. I wanted the other guy. Her Cap."

His lips disappear in a tight line. "Our Cap," he murmurs. "Yeah, okay."

She'd been stupid. She thought if she could get Cap to care, he could get Rikki a place to live, maybe some money to live on, because Anya's done research out the damn wazoo, and there's no food stamps for orphans from other universes, let alone Section 8 grants.

 _My life, my problem_ , Rikki had said when Anya tried to say something. _Leave it alone._

Anya wasn't exactly good at leaving things alone.

"Now that you're here," Anya says, straightening up and tugging a ten out of her wallet to leave on the table, "you could totally give me a ride!"

Because, now that she thinks about it, this is something like serendipity, to get the Cap who *does* understand gay stuff and everything. It's a sign. Since this worked out so well, that has to bodes really well for the rest of it. She'll talk to Rikki, they'll work things out, and before you know it, everything will be better.

It just has to be.

And if it's not better right away, she'll just keep chipping away until Rikki has no choice but to forgive her. Anya's stubborn, and she knows what she wants.

Kissing Rikki's just the start.


End file.
